Hollywood Horror – Wednesdays at 20.00
Every month, Studio Universal glitzes up Wednesdays with a linked selection of big films starring the biggest names in showbiz.
In Scream 4 (March 4th) it’s been over a decade since the last appearance of Ghostface, but in the town of Woodsboro the murders will never be forgotten. Sidney Prescott (Neve Campbell), now the author of a self-help book, returns home on the last stop of her book tour – but on the eve of her arrival the town commemorates the fifteenth anniversary of the Woodsboro Massacre. Someone sets out to celebrate with style, as two teenagers fall victim to a new killer. When the police uncover evidence of the murders in Sydney’s car she suddenly becomes suspect number one. Sheriff Dewey (David Arquette) and Gale (Courteney Cox), who are now married, are called in to help, but soon everyone involved in the case – as well as the town’s terrified teens – are caught up in the deadly game.
In Thir13en Ghosts (March 11th) a family inherits a spectacular old house from an eccentric uncle, yet they have no idea as to the nightmare they’re about to enter. Along with the nanny and their attorney, they find themselves trapped inside a state-of-the-art prison of moving walls and horrifying rooms. As the family fights to survive and escape with their lives, they come up against the evil inhabitants of the house in this supernatural thriller. Young revellers and townsfolk are on the menu in the 2010 remake of the cult classic Piranha (March 18th). When an underwater tremor unleashes scores of prehistoric flesh-eating fish into Lake Victoria, bikini-clad partygoers are thrown in with local residents as they fight to stop themselves from becoming fish food. Stars Elisabeth Shue, Richard Dreyfuss and Ving Rhames. In John Carpenter’s The Thing (April 1st), set on a remote research base in the frozen wastes of the Antarctic, RJ MacReady (Kurt Russell) and a team of scientists are faced with a shape-shifting alien life form that’s capable of assuming the identity of the people it kills. With help out of reach and escape impossible, the group must fight for survival as the creature tears their unity apart.
Magical Mayhem – Thursdays at 20.00
Studio Universal’s Thursday evening films may be comedy or drama, but they’re always films families can sit down and enjoy together. Premiering this month is Adam Sandler’s comedy Click (March 5th). Sandler stars as Michael, a workaholic architect struggling to juggle the demands of a career and his family life. Sent out on a domestic errand, Michael finds Morty (Christopher Walken), who has just the tool for the job: a remote control that can fast-forward and rewind everyday life! Also featuring is Ella Enchanted (March 12th), about a girl (Anne Hathaway) who’s been cast under a spell of constant obedience. When her mother dies, Ella must live with her unloving father and his new family – and must keep her dangerous secret under wraps. Fluke (March 19th) stars Matthew Modine as workaholic Thomas, a man who has achieved professional success at the expense of his family. But when things go belly-up and he dies in a car crash, Thomas returns as a dog and realises the importance of a happy home.
SIX O’CLOCK CLUB
All Pets are Off – March 23rd to 27th and March 30th to April 2nd at 18.00
School holidays mean showtime on Studio Universal, with a feast of films kids love. Expect action, laughs and lots more! Paulie (March 23rd) chronicles the life of a talking parrot, as he regales a janitor in an animal testing lab with his adventures. Paulie tells Misha (Tony Shaloub) of his long quest to find his owner and the crazy characters he’s met on the way. Another animation, Open Season (March 24th) features a voice cast including Ashton Kutcher and Martin Lawrence. When Boog, a grizzly bear who’s content entertaining tourists, rescues a one-horned mule deer named Elliot, he finds himself out of his element when he’s thrust back into the wild. Ed (March 27th) stars Matt LeBlanc as an baseball pitcher whose insecurities stop him from breaking into the big time. Down on his luck, he’s traded to a minor league team and loses all hope when he discovers that one of his new teammates is a chimp. Plus, tune in for comic adventure with Mystery Inc’s young sleuths in Scooby-Doo (April 2nd) and Scooby-Doo 2: Monsters Unleashed (April 3rd).
Tyler Perry Two-Pack – Fridays at 20.00
Friday nights on Studio Universal are dedicated to comedy, presenting the most side-splitting silliness and slapstick Hollywood has to offer. The multi-talented Tyler Perry features in March, with two comic classics showcasing his repertoire as both an actor and a director. Named by Forbes magazine in 2011 as the highest-paid man in entertainment, his genius stretches across theatre and television, and even as far as gospel songwriting! Diary of a Mad Black Woman (March 6th) is the first of his films to feature this month. After eighteen years of a seemingly solid marriage to lawyer Charles (Steve Harris), Helen (Kimberly Elise) is shocked when he announces that he’s leaving her for another woman. Completely distraught, Helen retreats to the house of her grandmother, Madea (Tyler Perry), who helps her gain the confidence to stand on her own two feet and move on with her life… with perhaps a little vengeance thrown in for good measure. The second Tyler Perry film is Madea’s Family Reunion (March 13th), with Perry returning as Madea, the Southern-bred matriarch with a family full of problems. With her nieces’ lovelives in tatters, a rebellious teenager moving in and a clan reunion to plan, Madea has a lot on her plate.